An eager heart

Once more my eager heart takes me on a wild goose chase. Clouding my judgement and giving me sight of possibilities that are not present. Trying desperately not to become embittered and clinging to the last vestiges of hope that,somewhere someday,there will be justification for my waining optimism.
Sitting at my dressing table come desk,i crane my neck to view the glorious day that is unfolding. The morning sunshine leaving crisply cut lines of shade between the uniform buildings across the park. The sounds of birds competing for the best perch. Vying for a suitable mate......
If only it were so simple. I think maybe i will climb a tree and start to whistle at the passing fancies. Build a nest and then advertise what a wonderful job i have done :-) Maybe i will get lucky and meet a warm homely person that wants to enjoy a personal and intimate coupling. More likely i will find that the mynahs will flock with their shovels,dreaming of sporty cars and the latest meaningless gadgetry.
A spot of bitterness there i apologise to anyone concerned.

When i lie awake in bed i can hear a nest of starlings. In fact I am sure they are the reason i am lying awake so early. I Hear the scrape of the claws as the parent birds arrive through the man mad tunnel above my window,under my gutter. I wonder as the little chicks all chime up together,competing vigourously for the first meal today. I can see in my mind the wide gapes with brilliant yellow beaks beckoning the parent stuffing of moths and mealworms. I feel the beginnings of new life fill me with hope.
As i realise the different time scales our lives exist on i feel strangely empowered.I will have several of their lifetimes to complete my life. In fact i would not know how to desrcibe the numerous generations of this starling family,that will come and go as i just amble along in my life. Their life is so short and dictated to by the weather and seasons. They know exactly what it is they have to do and exactly when.I, on the other hand,have so much time that i do not know what i have to do.Nor do have a clue as to when it is i want to do whatever i have to do. I feel an urge though! Something driving me to feel despair and elation day to day. Little victories and great losses. I want it to be the reverse. Maybe oneday it will.I need somebodyelse to help with that i think.

Something to set me up for a lighthearted day ??

hey zozie are you reading this?